I moved a couple weeks ago to a new home with a new family. I am beyond thankful and it blows my mind that a family would take me in as their own after knowing me for such a short time. This is the second one by the way. For the last year I lived with Jordan our singer and his family in their house and they agreed to do that before even meeting me! When I was on the road with Kiros and working out details of joining A Current Affair, the Feliz family opened their doors to this boy from Kansas and gave me a room to stay in and a place to call home in California.
To be truthful, i’ve felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea that i’m 19 and living by other peoples grace and generosity. why? The idea that if i was doing what most people do, I should be a junior in college next year, haunts me. For the last two years i’ve gone where “the wind blows” or to me, Where God is leading me. I’m not exactly supporting myself but being supported by members of the church around me. Its a bit nerve wracking but I am encouraged by it.
Half of me wants to live the life of John and half of me wants to be successful in the worlds sense of the word but in a Godly manner.
Lately i’ve noticed some things about myself I don’t like. I get frustrated easily once i’m past a certain point and its with people that don’t deserve that. I can also get pretty sarcastic and nothing is really wrong with that but I struggle to find the line of when its too much. It can really upset people if i don’t stop myself. Everyone around me has been so gracious to me and my friends have been answered prayer to finding a group of people I can fit in with and call my brothers and sisters. I don’t express it well, especially with the lack of saying it because for me, it goes without saying that I am blessed by the people around me. I hope I never take them for granted but that side of me goes unsaid. I gotta fix that! I need to fix my sarcasm and be graceful more. I need to stop being frustrated with stupid things and have patience. I need to take a step back and humble myself.
If i don’t, I will have to answer not only to my friends but to God.