I started a project and i’m failing to complete it. I wont let it get the best of me this time, I WILL be a blogger, I will journal my life, I will post it online no matter who sees it. I read a tweet today that said “Don’t do what you do for compliments, because when they stop, so will you.” Its by Jon Acuff my favorite blogger. Reading his blog is what made me want to write out my thoughts through a blog. I don’t get compliments necessarily but I don’t want them to be the reason I stop. I think i’m noticing a lack of self-motivation to do the daily get down to the things that need to be done. I want to wake up every day and ask myself how I can be productive that day. I WILL do that..

I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose someone you love. I’ve never been through it, consider me lucky. I’m not looking forward to it but that day will surely come and I hope to God that peace is made before that. There are a lot of human emotions to experience in life and I’ve had my fair share of good ones over bad ones.. The one emotion I think i’m least looking forward to is despair..I can’t say i’ve fully experienced it. I’m getting a taste of it though.. despair is one of those emotions where you realize you had the opportunity to make things right, and you chose not to. It says “Its too late. You can’t fix it now.

Those are my thoughts when it comes to my teeth..don’t worry they’re still there! But I messed up taking care of them when I was growing up, when I didn’t care and now i’m paying for it. The one thing that can’t repair itself in my body and I didn’t take care of them. People who see me now wouldn’t believe I had braces because my bottom teeth are crooked too, but I did. Two years of metal in my mouth and I didn’t want to wear my retainer, so they receded. I could have had nice teeth.

I realize there are a lot more serious matters in this world to worry about and appearance isn’t one of them but oddly enough, i’ve been learning a lot lately from this awful feeling of.. “I know I could have prevented this.” If i’m lucky enough to have kids and they read through my blog, I want them to learn from my mistakes. I don’t want them to make the same ones. They will have plenty of their own to learn from.

Here is a page from the daily Bible study book called “My Utmost For His Highest” that talks about despair.
I encourage anyone seeking real wisdom from the Bible to read the thoughts of Oswald Chambers written in this book.

The initiative against despair 

Rise, let us be going. My betrayer is at hand.”
Mathew 26:46 

Oswald Chambers 1874-1917

The disciples went to sleep when they should have kept awake, and when they realized what they had done it

produced despair. The sense of the irreparable is apt to make us despair, and we say – “It is all up now, it is no use trying any more.” If we imagine that this kind of despair is exceptional, we are mistaken, it is a very ordinary human experience. Whenever we realize that we have not done that which we had a magnificent opportunity of doing, then we are apt to sink into despair; and Jesus Christ comes and says – “Sleep on now, that opportunity is lost for ever, you cannot alter it, but arise and go to the next thing.” Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and go out into the irresistible future with Him.

There are experiences like this in each of our lives. We are in despair, the despair that comes from actualities, and we cannot lift ourselves out of it. The disciples in this instance had done a downright unforgivable thing; they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus, but He came with a spiritual initiative against their despair and said – “Arise and do the next thing.” If we are inspired of God, what is the next thing? To trust Him absolutely and to pray on the ground of His Redemption.

Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action.


2 thoughts on “Despair

  1. Great post! This’s something I needed to hear/read now! Keep writing your blog Josh. Btw it must be an awesome book!

  2. I read this three days ago and I thought ” incredible post!” .
    Now I just read it again, and it was what I needed to read today. That must be a good book and I would love to read it!

    Despair must be one of those things that NOBODY wants to feel. You put it clearly with a good example, your teeth.
    Maybe you can’t fix them now, but you’ve learn something. You will take care of them and when you have kids, you will teach them how important it is. I guess the despair appears when you feel we can’t do anything about something, just like you said. It sucks, but it also give us a lesson, though.

    And, keep posting! Don’t let that the lack of compliments stop you! You are doing a great job 🙂 and if you want to make a journal, do it! It doesn’t matter if you are the only one who read it, just do it!

    God Bless sir, ~

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